Tomorrow will be the 12th anniversary of the day my mom passed away. I was 35 years old and although I know that I was blessed to have a mom much longer than many others I know, it still seems that I was a bit young for a woman to lose her mom. She passed away quite unexpectedly and only my dad and I were able to be with her.
Since I have begun my new and sometimes insatiable hobby of blogging I know that there has been a curiosity and a bit of good natured jesting on my behalf. Why would a middle aged woman (I checked the dictionary to make sure I can claim to still be in this age bracket) begin to write down memories and mundane, sometimes trivial events for others peruse? Some have "outed" themselves as readers of my musings while others continue on in a perplexed state, wondering if this is another passing phase of Lovella's life. This thinking is not illogical since I have readily admitted that I too am amused, at myself.
The one thing that I keep coming back to is that while other people I know have contentiously and consistently recorded their life, all I have to offer is a stack of old calendars which at best record my social calendar and medical appointments.
I wish I could say that the nice stack of books you see above was mine but its not. My mom kept a diary for a good part of her adult life. She recorded my oldest brothers birth with the same pride and excitement that I now see in the young mothers blogs that I enjoy reading. I think that what they are offering is not only encouragement to each other and also to me but they are in essence recording for their families a history.
I have never read my mom's diaries cover to cover because they are private, and she never indicated that they were meant to be read. Neither will I destroy them because someday a future generation will be able to read them unaffected by my mom's personal thoughts. I think she knew this and so rather hand wrote 300 pages of her life story. It took her 4 years to write it and she died 7 months after it was completed. Although I'm sure it would have pleased her, she never pushed us to read her book and for her it was enough that she did what her heart compelled her to do.
Now, please, I don't want you to have any grim thoughts on my imminent future. I laughed yesterday after the recent scourging of the unnecessary clutter of my cupboards. If I keel over tomorrow at least there will be a few less bags to take to the dump.
So, what am I really saying in all this? Thank you mom for expressing yourself not only to hear your self think but for realizing that someday the things you recorded would be valued as a family history. I realize more and more how much I am like my mom, both the good and the bad. I daresay that if she would have had the opportunity, she would have been proud to be added into my "family, friends and favorites" link list and no doubt I would have perhaps inwardly groaned and chuckled. It's quite funny actually, history really does repeat itself. I think my mom would be proud of me.